Not Deaf, Just Dumb

Two men are at a social gathering. A typical event in an SA Mallu's home: families get together at host location (usually referred to as "parties" but has none of the fun one normally associates with the word) and soon as the greetings are over each member spilts up to their various corners almost at the door. It's almost as if this is their one small break away from their family and responsibilities. The men go off into the lounge - whiskey is served, for some a necessitiy, for others - just to have something to hold in their hand, discussions and arguments are being devised in their heads as they hear the chink of ice in their glass. The topics mostly revolve around politics, cinema, and how great the Malayali culture is. The women automatically congregate at the kitchen to help the hostess make salad as she pours them a glass of sherry - the only alcoholic drink these women will consider because someone told them it's what women drink and was therefore acceptable. The children scatter in multiple directions depending on their age - the teens sit in a corner, brooding, the pre-teens discuss television, and the toddlers are trapped under the attention of cheek pinchers. As the revelry goes on, the meal is served, each group starts to slowly mingle with the other, and very soon, some one puts on a movie cassette and like ants to a picnic - every one gathers in front of the idiot box. The time: some where in the mid-1990s. The movie is in Hindi: 1942 - A Love Story. The scene: when the hero Anil Kapoor first sees the heroine Manisha Koirala. It was, indeed, love at first sight...and made him break out into song.

At this point, one of the men, a father of three, asks the other, a father of two, in Malayalam:
"Is such an intense feeling possible at FIRST sight?" (His tone is laced with mild skepticism.)
To this, the FO2 replies almost immediately and with great conviction:
"Yes yes yes. Of course it is possible!"
"Really?" (Doubtful, but also in awe of the possibility that it could be true.)
"Yes, I am telling you. This DOES happen in real life." (Said with such faith that one almost wonders if he speaks from personal experience.)

Little did the FO2 realise that his teenage daughter was standing close by listening to this conversation. Though she did not know it then, she would cause her father a lot of heart break in the future. But for now, she would never forget this conversation for as long as she lived for it soothed her troubled teenage mind about all the sudden longings she was feeling for a boy in school. She wasn't a loon after all, praise God!

A fool in love remembers only dialogues and situations that are acceptable to her state of mind. The dire warnings, possible chinks in the relationship, family disconnect - nothing matters. To her, love conquers all.

Some times it is so much harder to face the path you have chosen (against all advice) than the path you have been pushed on to. There is always that pressure to make the right decision, say the right thing. If you do ONE thing wrong then they are waiting to jump out to say, "Aha! I TOLD you!"

Nothing in life comes easy. It's one of those lines you are always told but when you experience it it's as though the literary greats came down from heaven and their heavenly glow filled the cavity in your head, gave you some clarity. My parents and my in-laws are meeting for the first time ever in two weeks. They have been talking on the phone for a while but the actual meeting is only happening now because my folks live in SA. Needless to say (but I'll say it any way) I am really stressed about it. I pray that it all goes well, even if it is all superficial. I hope none of the anger and resentment come out in words - well intended or otherwise. It's a little too soon for everything to be all hunky dory. Jesus Christ tells us that in order to be forgiven, we must first forgive others. Sadly, there is just too much anger in my heart aimed at multiple directions, and I find my self pretty hard to tolerate of late. Where did this one year go by I do not know. All I did was take care of a house, a dog and a husband - and dwell on events of the past. I have done nothing productive (unless you count the scales on my hands from washing dishes) nor have I added any value to my life (okay, I forgot all the blog reading I've done - it's just made my to-do list miles longer). If any thing, I think my husband aged five years because of my ranting. I am now trying to convince him his grey hairs make him look distinguished. This only makes him more upset as "distinguished" is a word he associates with a gentleman in his mid-forties. He is a teenage rockstar at heart despite his 31 years.

This will be my last post for the year. I just want to wish you all a blessed Christmas and a fruitful New Year. It's a standard wish one sees in budget Hallmark cards but it's also a universal season that means different things to different people. For me, Christmas is the most beautiful time on earth - a feeling associated with wonderful memories of my childhood past, the promise of wonderful memories yet to be had, and the magic of Hollywood which adds so much colour and vitality to how we perceive it. There is the religious aspect of it also, which is extremely personal to me. I once played the Angel Gabriel in a Nativity play in church - at that time, it was all about wearing a beautiful white dress. But even as a child, I watched with bated breath as Mary brought out baby Jesus from the manger. Lucky for me all my lines were over. All the children watched this and understood it to be a glorious event...even if baby Jesus was played by a doll. And the significance of Mary being a virgin did not register to any of us at that time. I think the beauty of this season is the symbolism of family and commitment - of bonds that transcend all barriers. I'm really looking forward to seeing my parents and grandparents - the whole family of cousins, excited because my baby brother is getting married, a little jittery about the "family meet" - but over all, my heart is filled with the promise of what the new year will bring. May you all be surrounded by love this holiday season.

I always say, if someone else can say it better then they should. So, to quote Charles Dickens, "God bless us, every one!"

P.S.: Movie to watch this season, preferably in 3D - A Christmas Carol